Clients from Hell
[After handing a client an invoice for a rather large re-brand job]
Client: “The problem with this is that you’re one of those freeloaders, aren’t you?”
Me: “Freeloaders? Do you mean freelancer?”
Client: “No. You’re a freeloader. You went through university to learn all this artsy-fartsy stuff on my hard-earned taxes so we can call this work a repayment.”
Animation takes time
To sum this up; I found a Craigslist ad that a company that just started was looking for an animation to do a pitch animation for their small company to pitch to PBS for kids with autism.
Client: “We have this great idea to do an animation for a children educational television show for kids with autism so that kids and parents know how to properly deal with the behavior. We need you to do the pitch animation for us to show PBS. Once we get the green light, we want you to start working on six 25 minute episodes. You think you can get some of your friends to help out and do one episode per week?”
Me: “An episode per week?! That’s impossible. I done research how long an animated TV show takes and one episode of Family Guy or The Simpsons takes about 4-6 months.”
Client: “What? No. That’s not right. If it takes them that long to do one episode, they wouldn’t be on air.”
Me: “Well, I’m telling you as an animator, one week is impossible.”
Client: “Well once we get the money, anything is possible.”
Clients from Hell
“I need you to render me a banana.”
“Okay, sounds good.”
“No, not a banana - the taste of the banana.”
Clients From Hell: Client: ”We like your proposal and enthusiam, but we really can’t...
Client: ”We like your proposal and enthusiam, but we really can’t afford you. How much would you charge to rent out your computer?”
Me: ”Excuse me?”
Client: ”Our Sales Manager is pretty creative. We could just have him come to your office on a Saturday or something and knock this thing out.”
Me: ”You don’t want to hire me, but instead want to… rent… my computer??”
Client: ”Yeah. And you could be there. You know, to give him some tips if he gets stuck. Maybe toss in a creative idea or two. In fact, we’ll do all of the work and still use your creative ideas. It’s a win-win!”
Clients from Hell
Designer: “What is your budget?”
Client: “ACAP”
Designer: “?”
Client: “As Cheap As Possible…oh and ASAP!
Clients from Hell
A client calls at 5 minutes to midnight and whispers “is it too late?”
Clients from Hell
While reviewing a quote for a rush job that would require working through the weekend, client commented that paying extra seemed wrong. His famous last words:
“I’m giving you a break from your family for two days, why should I be paying for that?”
Clients from Hell
Client: “Why didn’t you call me over the holiday to see if I changed my mind?”
